A Journey of Forgiveness: Finding Healing in the Face of Tragedy

Donna Cunningham "Lady D"

In the depths of grief and loss, forgiveness can seem like an elusive concept, a distant shore beyond the stormy seas of pain and anger. Yet, for me, forgiveness became a beacon of light in the darkness of tragedy, guiding me toward healing, redemption, and ultimately, a profound understanding of grace.

My journey of forgiveness began with a simple question to my late mother, Marilyn Ferguson, a question that would echo through the years and shape my understanding of forgiveness. "Mom, have you forgiven the man who killed Poogie?" My brother, Don Ferguson III, affectionately known as Poogie, was tragically taken from her in a senseless act of violence. As I sat in the courtroom, face to face with the perpetrator, I grappled with the weight of my mother's forgiveness, a forgiveness rooted not in obligation but in a deep and abiding faith.

The path to forgiveness, however, was not without its obstacles. The loss of my second brother, Christopher Ferguson, left me reeling, questioning my faith, and struggling with depression. Despite my outward displays of strength and devotion, I found myself wrestling with inner turmoil, compartmentalizing my pain, and hiding it away from the world. It was in these moments of vulnerability and despair that I discovered the transformative power of God's love, slowly opening my heart to healing and grace.

The devastating loss of my baby brother, Sam Ferguson, brought me to a breaking point. Anger, grief, and a thirst for vengeance consumed me, leading me to the brink of despair. Yet, in the midst of my pain, my mother's unwavering faith and forgiveness served as a beacon of hope, a reminder that even in the face of unimaginable loss, forgiveness has the power to heal wounds and mend broken hearts.

As I stood face to face with the man who had taken my brother's life, consumed by rage and a desire for retribution, a simple question from a friend sparked a profound revelation. She asked, "What was the difference between myself and the perpetrator?" In that moment of clarity, I realized that true forgiveness was not about absolving the wrongdoer of their actions but about freeing myself from the shackles of hate and anger.

Through tears and prayer, I found the courage to utter the words of forgiveness, to release the burden of resentment and anger, and to embrace the transformative power of grace. In that moment of surrender, I discovered a newfound sense of peace, a deep understanding of the boundless love and forgiveness of God.

In the end, my journey of forgiveness was not about forgetting or condoning the actions of others, but about finding healing, redemption, and a renewed sense of faith in the face of unimaginable loss. Through the power of forgiveness, I discovered that even in the darkest of times, there is light, there is hope, and there is the promise that my mother told me on her deathbed, "I would never leave you nor forsake you," Hebrews 13:5. I never knew how much I would need to hear my mother's last words in a world that is constantly changing and where people are constantly leaving, whether in family, relationship, or in death. God's promise of never leaving is encouraging today.

I soon learned how much I needed to hear my mother say, "I forgive him." I knew that painfully, forgiveness was bigger than me, and now that I am walking through forgiveness with my children, I know that my children need to know. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Let us continue to grow in grace, holding on to the One who holds tomorrow.